Unsatisfactory

My life has also hit the downturn like the reformists... I can foresee nothing that could make me feel excited and it's quite depressing... One thing can change that drastically and that's if I would be able to take some time off and go visit my family which is the only wish I have at the moment. Will it be very risky to leave this country now while there's no way that the authorities would issue a visa for anyone? I don't think my wish is too ambitious after all the crazy work I've gone through! Anyways, no one would care and all that would be left is an unsatisfactory sentiment that would ultimately lead to depression. Please help me out of this mess... please!

PS
Oh please help me!

take me out of here! meow!

PPS
1USD was exactly...

1 Khomeini (10,000 Rials) today!

A vicious cycle...

The dark spiral never seems to stop. Once again I didn't take the right move, and I was awoken with a call on 5:46AM. Sadly it was too early to do anything and I had to wait until 7AM to start negotiating. If I had done this yesterday, I didn't have to suffer so early in the morning, and I had to tell myself how careful I have to be at each moment when I make decisions.

Like yesterday, it was becoming warmer and though I sense spring has finally come, the warmness has still not returned to my heart.

I had to work on my story at nighttime, and finally had a late dinner with my wife. Recently, I have no time to enjoy the food with her because of the work, and maybe it's because I had too much fun in Dubai with her... It's going to get busier each day and from now I'm worried we would be living together but spending time separately like separated couples in the same building...

PS
The battle I had with my staff has finally reached its settlement. I had to bargain so much and how bad could that be when asking for money is a deed that is so abominable to me. But I am not too naive and be whitewashing to say I can't negotiate and convince my staff telling them how nice I try to be to have them work with me. Should I be a tough negotiator and tell them go away if you want that much money!? I can't... I just can't. I'm not that kind of person... It would be even easier if I had to walk through the thorny path being betrayed than disgrace others. I also realize, if I really want to be on the winning side, I should be able to speak Farsi. If I can, I don't have to be scared not being able to communicate and get information which is the lifeline with this job. The reality is I can't, and from now on I should always think I must walk through the path alone and find the best help I can get using all my resources including money and friendship!

Today's pic...
Iranian snack of the day

Hiss!? Iranian Kit-Kat!?

Dark days...

The dark age continues and once again negotiating with my staff, I had to clear things up, one by one. I should be happy things are working out, but I also know that nobody is really happy about what's going on. Me too...
Life sucks when I have to be strict about financial matters and I really hate to even talk about the issue!
Tonight I also had to write about an Iranian American lady journalist, who is also half Japanese two days in a row. It's already a diplomatic issue between the US and this country and heavy coverage by the west is turning the stories into a eye-catcher. I hope it will be resolved soon not just for the journalist and her parents, but for me... I have so many other things to follow, so it would be nice if I would see a happy ending soon...


always thinking about money... money...

Money is the key...

Here, many things can be solved with money. Well, maybe it's too far to say "solve", but it's undoubtedly better to pay more money to get the services and the leniency that counts in the end. People who have the power and connections to make things happen know it will be good business to offer the help... with the compensation element...
I have the right to use the office money for services that I really need, but it's really hard to distinguish beforehand if I will get the right results. It's very hard to make contracts on "a piecework basis" as the people with the power are the ones in the upperhand.
My only humble way to resist is to ask for a discount as I'm using the official budget and not my private money so I won't be attacked by the accounting division. More like business today in quagmire, it's really hard to get the returns from the investment. I think it's more so in this country than many of the other developing areas of the world. I know many people will not agree, but they will when they get to work here. Sadly, not many people get the chance to work here... Would you like to take my place!? If you're saying yes, I really hope you really mean it because I don't think so!

PS
It really relieved me to help...

planting the flowers on the garden!


a variety of them!


beautiful!


planting one by one...


hmm... not bad!?


a renewed garden!


we continued until it was dark!


and giving them what they really need!
aab! (meaning water in Farsi)