Going slow...

I can't produce... My work is slowing down and I couldn't make out any story I can sell to Tokyo. Maybe I'm in a slump. Or perhaps everything's in summer vacation recession. I told my wife I'm not being productive and sooner or later, I'll get the slap from my bosses. She just smiles and says why not take it easy when you can!? When you're busy you won't get that luxury at all!
She's right. Okay, I'll take it easy and go slow... Maybe it's the only time of the Iranian year except the Norouz time that I can...

At night, we watched a Persian-Japanese joint film, "Hafez" (Japanese title: "Hafez, Persia no Uta" http://www.bitters.co.jp/hafez/) together.

it was a very difficult film to understand with a complex plot... at least I was able to see completely different aspects of this nation full of varieties...

One full day to enjoy...

We only had today to enjoy and share the life of a Bay Area resident. In the morning, I took a walk with my wife around the vicinity to show her the junior high and high school I graduated from. Both, being a Sunday and summer vacation time, were closed as expected, but I'm sure my wife got some of the pictures. Anyways both schools seemed completely different since when I both left them as a gruadate!


"Middle School"!? I thought it was "Junior High"...


yes... yes... it was "Jr. High"... maybe they changed their formal names...


and my high school... I'm sure I won't be able to make my 20th year reunion next year...

After attending a service at the church I went to when I was a school boy, we went to our favorite nice meal, which I always want to have when I'm here in the Bay Area. We then went to a familiar mall where I've been to so many times! I got two pairs of jeans and for my wife, I was finally able to buy birthday presents! She was looking for a watch with "world time" and she also stopped haphazardly in front of a shoe shop to get a nice pair of boots she can use in the winter.
In the nighttime, it was time to get one of the best dinner treats here in the Bay Area! My favorite prime rib dish that I also had three years ago. I left my stomack open for this, so having a 12 ounce cut was no problem! I was happy having all the members of my family together and two of our relatives here!


one of my favorite!


yummy! yummy!


the familiar shopping center...


starting with the nice clam chowder


and the main dish!! yummy, yummy, yummy!!


finishing with some sorbetto...

We finished off the day at a familiar 24 hour supermarket in the neighborhood of our home. Buying chewable Vitamin C tablets were our goal, but we found the cheap generic ones, which is just perfect for filling up our vitamin necessities for nearly a year in Tehran!





At night we had time for the boys! Together with my dad and brother we enjoyed my brother-in-law's collection of Scotch and it was enough to feel happy that I was having enough alcohol for a year. I'm sure I won't be able to enjoy so much drinks in seveal days!


time for the real thing!

ONE YEAR ON FROM...

THE START OF MY LONG JOURNEY...

It's exactly a year since I arrived in this country... already a year! only just a year!
Will I stay here for another year or another two years, I have no idea, but it's going to be a tough year coming up with all of the turmoil I experienced especially in the last month...
Today, I had already decided to go out to have dinner with my staff and once again show my appreciation to their hard work. We also invited a journalist friend who had helped us in many ocasions and congratulate him for his recent marriage.
But abrubtly, we found out that protests were going to be held at a square near our office and once again I felt blue... As a supporter of democracy and freedom of expression, I have no right to tell them that I feel blue that they're fighting for their rights, but also as a human being, I was asking "why today??"
The answer was so simple... they were holding demonstrations calling today the day of Global Action all over the world... okay, can't blame anyone anymore... I just prayed there wouldn't be terrible news that I had to cancel everything!

We were able to go out to have dinner... thank God. We enjoyed the Thai food at a restaurant in a hotel in the north and just for a short while forgot about all of the darkness engulfed around our smiles... It was a great occasion just to smile, so leave us alone!


food on the table... there's no going back from here!

There's still news waiting in front of us... I can't run away from it as it's my job to confront them... I feel the responsibility to tell our viewers about what's happening in this country... I have faith in myself that I can continue... Let's go forward!

Allez!

Eclipse...

While many were enjoying the astronomical miracle in the east, it was a day of worries... it was the end of the fourth month of the Iranian calendar today and our press permits were to be terminated... we had no news of its renewal and all we could do is wait...
I'm sure when you experience a solar eclipse, you would feel how stupid it is to be worried about everyday troubles and ups and downs of life is just an assurance of being alive... Seeing no miracles, I can't view the world so philosophically like great achiever. So I'm going to live everyday being sad, angry, and hopefully... happy!


we had a brief power cut at night... boo...

Unsatisfactory

My life has also hit the downturn like the reformists... I can foresee nothing that could make me feel excited and it's quite depressing... One thing can change that drastically and that's if I would be able to take some time off and go visit my family which is the only wish I have at the moment. Will it be very risky to leave this country now while there's no way that the authorities would issue a visa for anyone? I don't think my wish is too ambitious after all the crazy work I've gone through! Anyways, no one would care and all that would be left is an unsatisfactory sentiment that would ultimately lead to depression. Please help me out of this mess... please!

PS
Oh please help me!

take me out of here! meow!

PPS
1USD was exactly...

1 Khomeini (10,000 Rials) today!

Taking the risk!

As it was the last weekday of the a two day working week, we rushed to get ready for a trip to Europe in the end of the month. We still were not sure if my staff would get the necessary visas, but that's another Inshallah, so I just took the risk and bought the tickets for all of us... It's quite expensive and I don't know what could happen on our coverage trip, but yes... I'm going to take the risk!
Today, my wife successfully got her visa and permission to stay in this country, so I decided to take her to a trip to Dubai from tomorrow... I know it's risky to go on a trip just before an important business trip coming up, but if I don't take the risk, we'll never be able to go together on a trip... who knows when the next chance will come... so I'm going to take the risk!

PS
It was also risky...

as the papers printed in Dubai are saying that it's very stormy there now and it would be rainy for another four days... still... I'm going to take the risk!

Last day of the Year!?

It's quite hard to explain as I myself do not understand how it works, but today is the 29th day of the last month of the Iranian year and tomorrow we will welcome Nowruz, the Iranian New Year's Day, but still it will be the 30th day of the last month... So in fact, today is not the last day of the year. It's complicated because Iran is in its leap year and the usual 29 day month of Esfand has 30 days as I have mentioned yesterday.
It's still a holiday in memorial for the day that the oil industry was nationalized on 1951, before the Shah of Pahlavi returned to power by an US backed coup d'etat overthrowing the popular PM who initialized the oil nationalization.
Thanks to this holiday, Iran has now entered a six day holiday, though with my job it doesn't seem to be that much of an advantage without any tickets to take me abroad or at least inside the country... Still it was the first holiday for me and my wife and we worked together to clean up our rooms filled with goods. Opening up the closets and wardrobe drawers filled with my clothes was an important task for me!
The internet in our room was dead and I had to ask my wife to spend some time together in my office where the internet was fine. We didn't have time to spend some time outside, but with 5 more days of holidays, I'm sure we will have a chance to do so soon!

In the holidays... I was always eating alone...

now that has changed!
It's so nice to eat meals together...

And


"at home" meals are also nice!

Start of a new private life!

My wife arrived in Tehran in the morning. I feel relieved to see her safe and sound though she had come here last November and knows her way here.
It was not a good day for me at work as I had to follow up on Khatami's withdrawal from the Presidential race and I had to write about it before leaving the office to pick her up at the airport. I was up until 4AM and was quite groggy receiving painful phone calls from Tokyo even at the airport and it became worse when I was asked to give a live coverage about Khatami's story in the evening. It was a good opportunity for me to show how things happen unexpectedly and of course I'm not troubled at all to be able to participate in our news programs as it is always tough to get some coverage time for news about this country.
I was able to finish my job at around 8PM and finally have some time with my wife. Well, it's the start of a new private life for me and I think it's starting fine!


I checked the board over and over to see she has arrived!

Our first night in Tehran... it was loud outside as residents around the area were lighting fire crackers, which is far from what the original Chaharshambe Suri should be like... On the last Tuesday night before Nowruz, people are supposed to jump over fires, but people, especially the young ones are using fire crackers to have fun...

Change of phase...

It was the end of February, a really tight month in the beginning, but nothing particular here in Iran at the end. The world seems to be in lag and the economic downturn all over the world is making it worse. We had some visitors in the evening and it was crowded just for a while in the office... but soon I was alone again...
I'm still not able to enjoy my stay here as work is always looming behind me 24 hours a day, but my worries that I'm a stranger seems to have past away. Maybe it's a time of change in the phase where the chemistry has undergone a shift in my emotion staying here in Iran. The sad part is that my enthusiasm and expectations have also disappeared and it will be my honest intention to just to try finishing my job without any troubles, because I've learned these 7 months that even reaching the target without a problems is a very ambitious goal!


some cakes from our guest! yummy!

PS

last night I had a nice bite!

And...

I had to fight with mosquitos!!

Burnout Syndrome!?

I think psychologically, I'm experiencing a "Burnout Syndrome". I see in wikipedia, reporters are included as the more prone to burnouts! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burnout_(psychology))
Sadly, concentrating on big projects and returning to normal times is what I've continuously done for perhaps the whole 14 years as a reporter. The first year being posted in Kobe right after the Great Hanshin Earthquake, the big issue of a 14 year old murderer in Suma Ward of Kobe in 1997, the development in the Air Pollution Lawsuit of Amagasaki in 1999-2000, the murder of 4 innoncent family members in Setagaya Ward of Tokyo in then end of 2000, and in the five years as a member of the disaster coverage team, the earthquakes and floodings... covering the Self Defense Force dispatched to the Middle East, the Horiemon and the Tokyo Air Pollution Lawsuit while working at the court... the three long trips abroad in my first year as an international correspondent... All has caused a burnout effect on me and I've went through them luckily with the help from God that it was not followed immediately with a greater topic.
This time the Presidential Election of this country is still four months away and though I have to seriously get ready from around April, there will be the Nowruz (Iranian New Year) vacations in late March and my wife is planning to join me at that time... So please... I'm seriously hoping a great issue will not bother me for a while... please...

Relaxing at nighttime finishing off earlier than usual...

having rice is one of the luxuries... a humble and modest luxury...

Still very tired... very...

I woke up in the morning as it is a habit to wake up around 8AM, but after checking my e-mails finding no important messages, I went right back to sleep. I finally woke up before noon time, and after fighting a little with my computer, I couldn't resist going to bed again... I was still very tired after sleeping another two hours. I don't understand why, but I would like to get rid of this drowsiness and maybe taking a vacation leaving this place for a while would help, but I'd rather like to go with my wife after she arrives here next month. Unlike many others, travelling alone is very boring for me and it would be really stressful if I wander anyplace alone...
After talking to her in the afternoon, we could not resolve our case about when and where we should go as we had no clue when the authorities of this nation will grant her a multiple visa... This is the major problem we are facing and we might have the answer tomorrow. Sadly it might be too late because surely all the flights would be booked with many Iranians fleeing the country for vacation... A very tough situation here!

In the nighttime, I fought with the piles of newspapers I hadn't reorganized for months... some papers were old as last October's and it took me three hours just to pigeonhole two piles of them... oh I'll do the other pile tomorrow... I'm so tired...


a pile of papers to fight with!

And I probably woke up like this!

fwaaah...

Belonging to an organization

Last night, for first time ever, I thought about a future being a freelance. I really don't see a future in my organization as I always have to take orders and feel disgusted at being just a servant. Until a year ago, of course I thought of even quitting this occupation and look for other ways of living, especially by halting my reckless driving in life, seriously attacked by the voices of regrets like "why am I doing this?" and "why did I take this job?".
But thinking twice, I'm also starting to think that it's not the job that I made a mistake to take, but the path. I've never thought about journalism at all, and I don't even know any of these "celebrity" journalists who are winning support with the freelance work that they have done. I have no passion to be a famous writer or reporter as it would be better to be able to tell the story without the presense of myself on the screen, as there will always be an effect showing yourself catching attention to the reporter and not the story.
I've always have been proud of working in my organization, because I believe being a freelance writer or reporter, you have to use some sensationalism or maybe even some dramatization to get some article space or broadcasting time which is necessary for work and therefore, compensation.
I don't know if I'm getting enough financial salary, but that's nothing of importance if I'm able to live an average life, but it's rather if I'm happy about what I'm doing. I was happy before that the best reward for me was when I was told, especially from people I've covered, that I have done a great job to help them. I would probably break down crying with deep emotion if I could have saved someone's life with what I've reported.
Working here, I don't see anything that would lead to such emotions. The more I do my work, I feel I'm just filling the news and I'm doing this because I have to. Boring isn't it!? I'm sure there are people who would want to work as a foreign correspondent to feel the fame and become the showman. I have no interests at all in that aspect of working in this position, as rather a stoic, low profile, coverage full of professionalism is an art I've always wanted to acquire.
I'm not confident at all about what I'm doing here, especially about these political reports which I have no passion at all to make and I really have to think of the coverage I would be able to get a hand on after June, when we will have the Presidential Election, or I will really find it hard to continue working here!

We were working at full force today too... a precious Friday... I couldn't stand sleeping on the sofa last night at around 1AM and when I woke up it was nearly 3AM! I quickly wrote some e-mails and went to bed around 3:30AM... it was very tough to wake up before 9AM, but I had to... oh, I'm going to sleep like crazy after 2 weeks!

End of the Gregorian year!

It doesn't seem like the end of the year at all... It's just like everyday... a regular weekday! It was worse than a regular day, as one of my staff caught a bad cold with fever and another was coughing... There were no progress at work and it was a really bad way to finish the year...
Privately, I think I made great progress and the experiences I went through were tremendous. But as a reporter and a correspondent, I think this year was below average... I have no satisfaction about what I've done this year... I hope next year I can take a prodigious leap forward!

I went to...

buy calendars for next year! they didn't have many with the Gregorian calendar...

And one last look at...

the "Down with USA" display near the bookstore we went to...
Next year, the relation with this country will be the key to this Islamic nation!

In Tokyo, all of my family who lives in Japan entered the New Year when it was still 6:30PM here in Tehran. I was able to talk with my newly wedded wife in Tokyo using Skype right at the moment Tokyo's clock hit the second pronouncing the New Year's arrival. At least this had made it a special way to enter the New Year!

for the "year-end soba", I had udon... instant made one...

Thank you to all the people that have supported me this year and I hope you will support me the following year too!
In return, I shall devote all of my love to you too, and please have a great new year!

Thank you 2008... and I hope I will enjoy 2009!

Happy and reborn!

It was Christmas and time to celebrate. I'm living in an Islamic country now, but I had a very special event that I can celebrate. As of 9:10AM (JST), I'm not a bachelor any more! I had some congratulations calls and e-mails and though it's really hard to feel that I'm not single any more as my belle is still in Tokyo and she will not make it to Tehran until April at the earliest, but it has become a day I will never forget!

Today was also exactly 5 years from the earthquake that shook Bam located in southeastern Iran. I went to cover an earthquake drill held in central Tehran from the morning. This country is very vulnerable to quakes and I hope that everybody will become more aware of the situation. I know the upgrading of life is more important in everyday life, but you will lose everything if you're not prepared for a major disaster!

The drill was held by the Tehran municipality with the support of JICA and it was nice to know that the Japanese philosophy of disaster management is being infused into the minds of Iranian people. I know diplomacy and financial assistance is important, but to me, such cooperation that could very well lead to saving thousands of lives is more valuable!


fire extinguishing drills!

I felt the existence of God today when it was so warm that the temperature rose to around 14 degrees. It even rained last night and there were rumors that snow could return to the city, but the weather was so nice that I really wanted to take a nap in the park where the drill was held!

Christmas Eve in an Islamic country...

I spent Christmas Eve in a mainly Buddist country last year, but in a resort. This year I'm here in this Islamic country... alone...
My dinner was pizza I couldn't eat for lunch and at night I celebrated with some American chocolates... very miserable...
It was also very sad that my plans for the business trip next week is on the verge of collapsing. Nothing seemed to have gone my way... but...
I had great news that the important document that will change my life had reached Tokyo! Now I can say It's a very different Christmas Eve this year that I know that next year, I will not be spending this night alone and lonely!

PS: A cat on a tree!

the poor thing couldn't get down from the tree!

I think a stronger cat forced it to get up

but there was no way down...

I couldn't film it, but the cat just fell down from the tree and hit the ground... it fell on some soft soil and got up right and ran away... I hope it didn't hurt its intestines or its bones!

Not worth it...

It's so frustrating that I have to be so apologetic!

In the recent years, I did have times of suffering, that even led to writing a letter of resignation. But that was when I was confronting myself that I would be unable to continue working losing my confidence in my skills and it would be wise to look for another way of living while I could still change my profession. But the lack of self-confidence I face now is not about my skills as a reporter or writer, but rather as a employer asking my Farsi speaking staff to get information and fighting to get permission while Tokyo attacks me for my inefficiency. It's not even worth it to write a letter of resignation!

Why do I have to be so apologetic at this stage in my career. Why...

PS
Today, I went to court to object to the traffic fines that were imposed on me that I had no idea of getting. I had to waste more than an hour to go to at least five rooms just get some judgement. I was lucky I didn't get fined for parking on the street as it would be stupid to go complain about a fine and get a different fine in this city where there's not enough space to park at all with uncontrolable number of cars. I will know what happened to the fine when we go to a police station where they will open the envelope in which the decision is enclosed...

PPS
The match-up in the garden...

rivals!

Taking a unflinching step

It was Eid ul-Azha (Eid al-Adha) and a day off in Iran. It was a great help for me to recover from my malfunction and I worked at a very slow pace...

At night, I filled out a significant document that showed my unflinching determination to take a step forward in my life. I'd made my decision months ago and my feelings have not changed.

It was at least my sign of seriousness that I wrote it today on a holiday like today so I can concentrate rather than writing it like I'm filling out a document about work.

Let's see where this will take me to. I'm sure it will be a great start in life that I will be looking forward to spend.

"Too kindhearted"

It was maybe what I really didn't want to hear. Talking to an experienced lady who knows a lot about our organization, she pointed out that I was too kind to my staff and it is important that I become more strict.
I'm not that kind of person to be easily angered and say hard things to anyone as that's just my characteristic. I always think someone who easily gets angry is someone who is weak and someone who is hard on people is someone who doesn't know about himself and could be ignored unless he is the almighty God who I also believe would be a kindhearted existence.
But maybe I'm wrong. I'm probably scared to be loathed and I always try to avoid quarrels. Maybe I just want to look good and be seen as a nice guy. It's true that a manager can't be such a kindhearted which could in a bad way look weak and I must become a strict leader in many occasions especially when we have such a heavy load of work like now.
All I could do is curse the people who put me in this position and though it was my priority in life to avoid being promoted to be in that state, how could I have guessed that I would be in this kind of managing position so early in my life!? Sadly I don't have any charisma to get through without changing my character.
This stress will continue for a while and I'm sure my hair will become all white when I finish this position and that would make me look even more kindhearted!


PS

having some fish for lunch... not bad once in a while!
especially with some soy sauce!

Without the sun

It was sad to see "the sun" has gone. Back to a normal working day in Tehran and I know there's a big hole missing. When will "the sun" be back? Hopefully in the spring. Latest in the summer. I need the solace to cheer me up in this solitary life where friends and some magic liquids will not help me forget the realities.

looking up at the sky... back to the cloudy days... where's my sunshine!?

PS
I was so sleepy today as I went to bed at around 3:30AM after returning to my office at 1:18AM.
Tonight, I was invited to have dinner with people working in the trading business at a banker's residence. of course we had the nice liquids to make our talks cheerful and I really enjoyed it!

Another live in less than a week...

I woke up very early. 5AM in the morning and went down to see off my staff going out.
But I must confess I couldn't resist the dizziness and I went back to sleep again from around 6:30AM for another hour and a half. This really helped me to continue on through a harsh day.

It was the last sprut that really counted this time, unlike the live coverage nearly a week ago, but we managed to get the job done... I think...

After returning to the office, we went out to get some kyababs to reward our souls...

always great to have these!

It was a tough day, but how nice is it to have some company after the battle! Thank you for your presence!