It's not my style...

When I received a phone call from Tokyo and was asked whether I'm doing fine, I immediately said "no".
You know. I always want to say "yes, I'm doing fine" to that question. But I'm not in that mood any more and I think no one can probably persuade me to be optimistic. I think the time I'm smiling has diminished significantly and to be honest... that's not my style! I hate to be seen as a somber spoilt soul and would rather want to help others smile. Writing too many stories that I really have no enthusiasm about but rather from responsibilty has maybe is becoming a crucial factor more than ever. I did have the same experience when I had to cover so many events mostly because I had to when I was covering the court of justice. The last months seriously covering the air pollution lawsuit may have saved my career as a correspondent, but I'm sure I really don't see what will save me this time. Am I trying to run away from reality? I surely don't want to kill myself or ruin my life by commiting a crime. So what's the best cure? I don't know... I just have to bear till I find the answer!

PS
It's at least a happy event when...

I open the rice cooker for the first time after you hear it's ready!