I can't stand it anymore!

It's almost 6 months after I arrived here in Tehran, but today it became decisive that I really don't want to do this job! I don't want to be too arrogant, but I firmly believe that I've worked so hard these 14 years, hoping that one day I will find a vocation that I can feel satisfied saying to myself... hard work pays off...
Look where I am now. I'm so frustrated that I can't stand it anymore being denounced so much and all I could say is sorry and apologize like I spilled some coffee on my customer at the cafe. Was this what I've worked so hard to achieve!?
I can't quit now and I won't even consider that like I did when I had some sufferings two years ago, as quitting now means I'm just abandoning my responsibilities and I will become a real loser in life disposing even the 13 years of hard work I've accumluated, but after discharge my duty, I seriously want to consider a job change within my organization. It will be too late after I really think about it's a complete waste of time to even stay in this organization!

Today another colleague arrived from Tokyo. I can't jeopardize my colleagues interests who are here to help me and I will do anything to make them feel proud about being here. For me, it's too late to be proud... too late...

PS
We went out to have dinner at a hotel in the north. I decided to walk home to my office, but it was snowing... oh well, I don't care if I get all wet... it's makes me very emotional to see the snow falling down on me and all I can do is feel miserable walking in the streets alone and not feeling confident about my life... It's really miserable...


at the familiar Thai restaurant...


on the way back... it was snowing!
how miserable I felt walking back to my office in this snowy weather...