The Dark Ages...

It's known that the Dark Ages in Europe was from 476BC to 1000AD, but for me it may well be these few years... and especially today.

Each day I get so many words of congratulations and encouragement from my colleagues and friends...
It's too late for me to even think about what I really wanted and if this was my dream.
I never will say I'm an optimistic person, but it's so natural for me to view that humans are good in nature. So I just can't help myself believing in the innate goodness of man. (性善説 in Japanese and Chinese) which started in China just before the Dark Ages in Europe by Confucius and suceeded by Mencius...
If the internet was there two and a half centuries ago and anything happening in China was disseminated to the West, I wouldn't think the Dark Ages would have come in Europe and the Middle East would have better off without all the history of invasion and aggression, though Europe could have well been a country named something like Roma.

Believing in the goodness of man, my mental conflict started the istant I left the disaster section, where people believing in good were killed by natural causes and I just couldn't resist seeing that happening and it was easy for me to work the hardest I can to prevent such dangers by informing people about the great risks we face. After my transfer to the justice court press club two years ago, and to the International News Division last year, my beliefs are always in jeopardy.
Should I have said NO when I was told that I might have to do things that I really didn't want to do any more? So many colleagues and friends have encouraged and supported me with these new jobs, but should I have betrayed them?
I don't know... I just don't...

Some of the phone calls I get and some of the phone calls I have to do are really bitter and painful... I will let nothihg of these hardsihps take my life away, but I sincerely believe the goodness in mankind will someday save me...